Eli's 1st Birthday

Thursday was Elijah's 1st birthday.  I cannot believe it has already been a year since we said goodbye to our little angel.  I only miss him more with each day that passes, which I didn't think was possible.  We decided to have a little memorial party for Eli.  First we started out at the cemetery and released balloons.  It was a beautiful sunny day.  So perfect!  Definitely gave me a sense of calm and tranquility. 

I tried to get a picture of the balloons floating away, but it was windy and I didn't snap the picture in time...

Our family joined us for the balloon release and than we had a little cookout afterwards at our house.  It turned into a very nice little celebration for our family.

I found this poem online that I thought was beautiful.  It kind of describes how I'm feeling one year later.

Feelings I feel like I've just existed
And now it's been a year
I don't know how I've lived and breathed
Without you being here.
I know you lived your lifetime
As short as that seems to me,
But the pain in my heart is still so great,
Yet I know your spirit is free.
At times I think I hear you
The thoughts come to my mind.
I struggle for the sound of your voice,
But your voice I cannot find.
Yet you come to me in many ways
So I know you did not die,
You want to tell me that you're close,
And to please stop asking Why.
Our lives on earth seem all too brief,
Or brief as it seems to me.
But where you are is forever,
GOD calls that Eternity ! (By Joy Curnutt, In Memory of Jason 11/26/74 - 4/11/99)  

So, now we have the joy of the arrival of our baby girl to look forward to.  I know that Eli is looking down and protecting his little sister.  The pain of missing him will always be there and the arrival of a new baby does not replace our love for him.  He will always be a part of our family and I can't wait to share all of our memories of him with his baby sister.  We love and miss you so much Baby Eli! <3

I will be 37 weeks tomorrow already!!  Once she is here I plan to turn this into our family blog.  Our little family of four!  Stay tuned :)